The Gauntlet Has Been Thrown

Challenge accepted

I’m giving myself the week off this week for my birthday, but you may recall that, a few weeks ago, I not only acquired for myself a big ol’ shiner, but was also challenged by a friend not to tell the same story twice when asked how I got it.

While I was recording a new interview for the podcast this past week, my guest suggested I should write the stories for each of the explanations I came up with as a result of that challenge. Not gonna lie—it’s not a bad idea.

So, here’s my request of you: help me decide which one to tackle first!

I don’t know how many I’ll actually do, but I promise I’ll at least write the winner, and maybe the runner-up. And of course, I’ll post the results here, no matter how silly they may end up being. (My bet: they’ll be pretty silly!)

I tried to set this up as an actual poll, but Substack’s poll options aren’t long enough to hold each idea, so we’ll have to do this the old fashioned way: vote in the comments!

Here’s the list:

1. My body rejected my Borg implant.

2. I was trying my Ursula the Sea Witch Halloween costume, but changed my mind.

3. I really need help perfecting my cat eye.

4. I was attacked by a T-Rex.

5. I thought it might be more efficient to be a sight AND the sore eyes, but I was wrong.

6. I always wondered what a one-eyed raccoon/panda would look like.

7. I mixed up the dates for this year’s Asbury Park Zombie Walk.

8. I felt inspired to sit for a Patrick Nagel portrait 40 years too late.

9. I got into a gang fight in Princeton (those Ivy League gangs are the WORST, man).

10. I thought I’d test a new drag look, but I grabbed the Sharpies instead of the eyeshadow by mistake.

11. I said the wrong thing to Mike Tyson.

I can’t wait to see what comes of this, so as always, vote early and often! 🤣